Poemful Disclosures
I wish I would've confronted my low self-esteem and my lack of confidence when I first realized that I was suffering from them. The emotional descend was so gradual that by the time I fully understood what I was going through, it seemed as if it were too late. A month turned into a year. One year turned into two and by then, I had already been cleverly manipulated. Tricked into thinking that I was not pretty, smart or even worthy enough of being treated with the love, respect or kindness expected to be given to me by my husband. I secretly struggled with and endured years of degradation, disrespect and abuse. I eventually lost all perspective of who I once was. This mistreatment left me feeling so broken and defeated that I could no longer conceal my pain or tears.
However, when I was at my lowest point and teetering on giving up on life completely, my tears awakened an unfamiliar comfort within me that lit the darkened path I'd been stranded on for what seemed like a lifetime. My cries became prayers; those prayers begat hope; that hope restored my faith; my faith led to courage; and that courage metamorphosed into a strength so powerful that I know in my heart and my soul cannot possibly be all my own.
Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. ~ JOSHUA 1:9
